5 Breathtaking Secrets Elephants Don't Tell You About

By Luis Thiam-Nye on 25 February 2018
At last, the truth about elephants is being revealed. No longer will you live under the disgusting lies of others. Break free of the illusion and spread awareness of these secrets they don't want you to know. Are elephants really grey? Are they even real? Find out more here.

Why is This World Unjust?

Could you really believe that everyone around you—even your friends and family—lies about the truth? That's right. You're being deceived. It turns out that this tradition of concealing the truth has eventually lead to this dystopian reality where we lie to ourselves.

With this in mind, we can now understand that reality is not as you think it to be. You probably live under the illusion that we are free and what you are told is the reality. On the contrary, reality has, in fact, been crafted meticulously by the elites.

The elites are those who control the human population as if it were puppetry. Accordingly, these demonic creatures silent the free words of society, ensuring nobody leaves their hypnotic trance. They, equally, strategically introduce ideas (or lies) into this grand experiment to really see how far away people can live from the true reality.

One would not expect to simply identify the truth from lies, yet occasionally, the elites slip up. Even so, immense difficulty remains in attempting to trace the activity of the elites. I have, however, stumbled upon a major flaw.

Proceeding countless hours of compiling numerous, hidden, sources of evidence, I am left with several conclusions. As it so seems, elephants are not what we perceive them to be. Why not, in light of this profound discovery, explore further the secrets elephants don’t tell you about?

Secret 1: All Elephants Are Purple

“What! That’s absurd! I’ve had enough of this nonsense.”

No, wait! As much as this idea is absurd, I possess evidence on hand to prove my theory. When was the last time you ‘saw’ an elephant? Regardless of your answer to this question, in reality, you have never actually seen an elephant in its true form.

They Faked The Photos

Let us consider some images of elephants.

Elephants

Predictably, most enslaved people would fall under the illusion that this image is pretty legit—right? But no, this is not real.

Think! On a scale of 1–10, how realistic is this photo? Agreeably, the elites have done a superb job at fabricating this image. Like all false images, however, we can identify the truth. Raise your hand if you have seen this place in real life.

In fact, I can almost guarantee you that the location in which this image was supposedly shot does not exist. In conclusion, this is simply a movie set. Film industries create highly believable images, and the elites hijack their techniques to spread lies.

Now, look closer. Realise how the environment around the elephants is significantly more blurred? Indeed—a green screen. If we correct this image, we are left with the elephants alone.

Here is the image when I processed it through my 15 super-computers to try to reverse the image back to the original. As you can see, it is so well masked that they couldn’t fully recreate the original.

Partially Reversed Elephants Image

Nevertheless, I managed to extract the elephants, somewhat.

Notice how the lighting seems almost too realistic—as if it had been spoofed. With that being said, I can disclose that the colour of this image has truly been faked. As a matter of fact, following a brief conversation with my 15 super-computers, we came up with this:

Finally, we have found the original image of the elephant! The super-computers don’t lie.

However, we are not quite done yet.

Seen Elephants First-Hand?

While many of us are exposed to the image of elephants via digital images, some of us claim to have seen and experienced elephants first-hand. Despite this, nobody has claimed that elephants are purple.

So, what makes us believe that elephants are grey, even when not looking at a computer screen? It turns out that there are two reasons for this, with the first being antennas:

Antenna on Building

Contrary to widespread belief, these antennas are not only capable of broadcasting radio waves, but also sufficiently potent such as to interfere with visible light. To explain, the elites secretly use agents to infiltrate manufacturing companies, altering the designs of radio masts and antennas without anyone looking. Although it is nearly impossible to obtain an understanding of how this technology works, we can theorise.

As of my understanding, these use ‘black magic’ (an experimental realm of science) to produce dark matter which, when in contact with the purple skin of an elephant, transforms purple light into grey light. The precise colour depends on how the dark matter reacts technically with the elephant already.

Be that as it may, not all places have antennas in sufficiently close proximity. These places are, for this reason, heavily monitored and regulated by agents: they hide elephants when possible and persuade people not to disclose the secret.

Anyone who fails to comply with the rules ‘go missing;’ another key point explaining inexplicable disappearances.

Secret 2: Elephants Are Invisible

Jumpy Moose

Surely, nothing can be said about this picture. Wrong. If you imagine the location when the photo was shot, then you will comprehend that the moose is running. What it is running from; this is the ultimate question.

To clarify the situation, I know this photo was taken in Africa, thus there are elephants in this very photo. However, no matter how hard you stare at this photo, you will never depict the slightest hint of visible light from any elephant.

Don’t worry—I can explain. Prior to the light contacting the surface of the elephant, the molecules react already technically in a similar fashion to a fax machine so that paper invisible seek the next recipient while in due time a series of highly complex verification signals communicate with the second layer of reality when the lack of paper indicates while we see that sometimes light bypasses the neural layer and cryptography to fabricate exponential beings of photons and positive electrons in contact with brittle positive neurons causing energy Joules to fuse forming a plasma field of extra-terrestrial radiation by the time inverse photons exit the microwave for intense optical consumption.

Understand now? Great!

After uncovering this truth, we see that, unlike what you may have typically thought, you have never really seen an elephant. After all, how could you if they are all invisible? Interestingly, the common idea of what an elephant looks like is completely inaccurate.

The reason for this: all elephants are invisible. Allow me to illustrate what an elephant really looks like (1962 colourised):

Real Colourised Elephant

With utmost confidence, I can say you have never seen an elephant. Henceforth, elephants are invisible and not what you think they are.

Secret 3: Elephants Have No Ears

Since most people haven’t already noticed this rather obvious fact, it is an appropriate mention. Without delay, let us see this juicy evidence.

Evidence? That is, in essence, no different from saying what evidence is there that all elephants are not purple—there isn’t because the idea that they are is extremely absurd! In fact, the main basis for my argument is that there is no evidence to suggest that elephants do have ears.

Generally speaking, people believe the lie that elephants have ears because of the unnatural sheet of surplus fat attached to the side of the elephants’ ears. As a consequence, people are lead into thinking that, just like many other animals, elephants have ears. In addition, the reason I say ‘unnatural sheet of fat’ is because, once again, the elites have intervened with our way of living.

Let us begin by explaining this unnecessary sheet of fat. Importantly, I reckon sometime in the 1200s, the elitists of the time (who had been experimenting with genetic modification) were not satisfied with the elephant’s lack of ears. Therefore, they executed a diligent mass modification of the species so that they frivolously develop the sheet of fat. Likewise, they created a hole under this fat, mimicking an ear.

The elites must have also slipped up before in the past, due to the fact that, now, everybody knows about genetic modification of plants and animals when, in reality, it was meant to be kept an ever-lasting secret.

All of a sudden, we begin to see our reality a little clearer, but—before you get too excited—we must delve deeper.

Secret 4: Elephants Are Squirrels in Disguise

Elephant and Squirrel

What do these two images have in common?

  • Tree
  • Leaf
  • Green
  • Animal
  • Protrusion

Whether or not you know it, these photos share too much to be true. For instance, you see how both the elephant and the squirrel have their trunk and tail, respectively, pointed in the same direction. Moreover, note how the general shape of each animal is surprisingly similar, as well as their eyes, mouths, ears—practically everything.

How is this? It’s interesting that you’d ask. For you see, the squirrel is the elephant in disguise. To emphasise, where else do you think the squirrel’s go when the time comes to ‘hibernate’? Indeed, they burrow under the ground, collecting mud so that when they secretly resurface, they behave like an elephant. They even expand up to 5 times their size by consuming the soil while burrowing.

If this isn’t compelling evidence, I don’t know what is:

How An Elephant is a Squirrel in Disguise

The squirrel is clearly the elephant. This is the only reason that can explain why squirrels hibernate—to seek a warmer climate without being noticed. Arguably, we could say that the elites have deliberately crafted this world so that squirrels are forced to attain vast quantities of mud particles (and fat), though the only thing that matters is that elephants are squirrels in disguise.

No more needs to be said about this truth.

Secret 5: Elephants Don’t Exist

This is it; this is the truth we have been leading up to. To summarise, we have uncovered that elephants are purple, invisible, have no ears and are squirrels in disguise. Having learned this information, how feasible is it to say elephants do exist?

It is simply not true. Whenever I hear someone say, “do you want to eat an elephant,” a wave of anger consumes me like I consume elephants.

ELEPHANTS DO NOT EXIST! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND CHILD? THIS IS ALL A PART OF AN ILLUSION!

First, how can an elephant be purple and invisible at the same time? Clearly, this is far from being possible. Equally, how could an elephant be a squirrel in disguise if all elephants have been genetically modified to grow a sheet of fat next to their bold faces?

I am going to cry.

You could argue that I am wrong. To that, I say look at the evidence. A person with even the most basic intellect would identify the fact that nothing I say is wrong. Not to mention, one could argue that, yes, it is possible for an elephant to be purple and invisible because the elites stained the mud around the squirrel purple while embedding a genetically-modified microorganism that grows a horribly oversized tumour.

Again, you are wrong. Who says that the elites did anything with staining mud or utilising microorganisms as a component of their master plan? Once more, see the evidence.

Speaking of evidence, I have a final image to share with you today, hopefully converting you to a true human. Everyone deserves to know the truth about elephants whereas the elitists can suffer.

Sample Text

Now, I don’t know about you, but I see not the slightest hint of any elephant. Clear. Obvious. Evidence.

Parting Words

Furthermore, join me in my efforts by buying some sandbags to protect you from the flood.

Sign up for blog updates via email here so you won’t miss out on any more heart-thieving discoveries.

• • •
This website may contain affiliate/referral links.

Spread the butteron Twitter!

Share your thoughts with@CrypticButterand follow for updates

About the author

My name is Luis Thiam-Nye and I own this place.